It's no secret that women have a reputation of tearing one another down, talking bad about other females and even spreading and/or listening to rumors. At some point or another, you have engaged in such awful behavior and/or might have been a victim of female shaming.
Deep down we know is wrong, but somehow end up engaging anyway. It has become so normal to talk bad about other females that sometimes you don't even notice you are doing it. But why are we like this? Why can men get along amongst their peers better than women?
According to research from Benenson and colleagues (2011), this is linked to competition and social exclusion. Us women have been excluded to be involved in society at the same level as men for centuries, that when a woman was doing the "work of men" and another lady came to work as well, they saw the other lady as their competition. Based on the study, women may be more sensitive than men to social exclusion, and when they feel threatened by the prospect of being left out, a woman's first response may be to socially exclude a third party. For any woman who's been on the receiving end of a female bully, this will come as no surprise.
We also have the Social Learning Theory, which is where the mother (obviously) has an influence on their daughter's behavior. The real and graphic truth is that there are many mothers (or mother figures) out there in the world who aren't so kind to their daughters, and easily say and do things that would make many of us cringe. I have noticed that women who bad-mouth other women, were often raised by a mother who probably didn't like herself, bad-mouths other women as well and didn't feel warmly towards women either.
And of course, there is the pressure women feel from men and the media to fit a certain physical type of "beauty", which transforms to the point that women turn on each other instead. How many times have you seen a man in a relationship cheat on their lady, and the girlfriend/wife instead of being angry with the man (the cheater) she gets angry with "the other" woman? Wasn't it the man who was in a relationship with her? Wasn't it the man's responsibility to be faithful? OF COURSE!! The infidelity is NOT "the other" woman's fault, it is the CHEATER'S fault.
For generations women have turned on each other due to fear of competition, social exclusion, pressure on how we are supposed to look like and even our own mothers have contributed to such awful behavior. But it doesn't have to always be that way. We can change so that our daughters and future generations can stop bullying their own peers. Let's embrace female empowerment by fixing our own "mean girl" behavior, and start pushing each other to be better women in society.
Want to #StopTheMeanGirlRep ? Join us Tuesday January 15 for our Wine & Business Night as business women gather together to share ideas, empower and share a glass of wine.
About the Author : Betsy Castro is a Virtual Assistant, Online Business Manager and Entrepreneur who helps other entrepreneurs get organize and loves empowering women to reach their full potential.
To learn more about Betsy click HERE!
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